What is stigma?
Stigma refers to the often-negative perception or disapproval of someone, their behaviour, appearance, identity, health status, or life choices (2). Depending on an individual’s lived experience, familial and social norms can dictate what is considered normal and therefore socially acceptable (2). When someone moves into a new behaviour, identity, or orientation, they open themselves up to the thoughts and beliefs of those around them. This can be a positive and rewarding experience if this is a socially acceptable change, i.e. stopping smoking or starting to exercise more. Or it can open them up to detrimental or negative experiences if this is outside what is considered normal in their world, i.e. changing sexual identity.
When someone is visibly different from what is considered acceptable within their community, it is far easier for them to experience discriminatory behaviour than if the behaviour or action is an internal one (3). As an example, in a conservative community, a heavily tattooed person may experience more stigmatising attitudes, labels and judgement than if their difference is internalised, such as HIV status or sexual orientation (1).
What are the impacts of stigma?
There are different types of stigmas, and the impacts of these can be different depending on where the stigma comes from. Internal stigma, or stigma that comes from inside of us, can occur when our decisions or behaviour, create a conflict within our self-identity, and can challenge what we know, or thought we knew about ourselves (3). We can experience embarrassment, shame and guilt for what we believe, or believe to be true about ourselves.
We can also anticipate stigma, based on our knowledge of our family, friends, community and society (3). Experiencing stigma, or the fear of experiencing stigma, can make life outcomes harder for people, as people are less likely to reach out for support or help to their family, friends, healthcare providers, mental health providers, counsellors, or anyone in a position of authority (3). Their self-esteem and self-worth can decrease, which also reduces the chances of reaching out for support (1).
Actual experiences of stigma occur when someone is treated differently or discriminated against, based on their point of difference, i.e. being treated negatively by a medical health practitioner after receiving an HIV positive diagnosis.
What is shame?
Shame is an emotion that all humans can and do experience. It can be described as the internal sense of embarrassment, humiliation or a sense that we are not good enough (4). Stigma and shame can often go hand in hand, as they both believe that there is something ‘wrong’ with us, and that what we believe about ourselves is our fault. Shame can limit the ability to reach out and ask for support and help, as we do not want anyone to see us for who we are (4).
What is intersectional stigma?
When we experience multiple stigmas at the same time, they can overlap and impact on each other, often creating more complex barriers in self-identity and engaging with support.
Women Partners' experiences
Depending on where, when and how you were raised, there may be many opportunities for stigma to present, layer and impact upon each other.
Some Women Partners clients have identified the following feared or experienced stigmas for themselves, their male partner, children and family as a whole:
· same sex attraction and behaviour
· potential relationship breakdown
· potential single mother status
· stigma by association of partners' behaviour
· fear of stigma if you are viewed as ‘responsible’ for the same sex behaviour
· fear of potential homophobia or safety concerns for their male partner
· engaging with sexual health testing
· possibly contracting Sexually Transmitted Infection/ Blood Borne Virus or HIV
· disclosing partner’s behaviour
· cultural, religious or societal acceptance of same sex behaviour or identity
· fear of being judged or treated differently
· fear of social exclusion or not being accepted
· fear of children being treated differently
· mental health impacts (for him)
· possible impacts on his career
Women Partners can experience one, some or all of these, and where these possible stigmas meet, can create the greatest barriers for women to disclose their lived experiences, and receive the support they may want.
Many Women Partners clients use counselling as a pathway to reduce and challenge their actual or feared experiences of stigma and shame. Often, counselling can also support women to identify safe people in their lives to disclose their lived experiences too, so that the internal experience of stigma and shame can be reduced.
References:
1) Alcohol and Drug Foundation. Alcohol and Other Drugs: Stigma. A background paper. Victorian Government; 2019 (cited 2025 Jul8). Available from: https://cdn.adf.org.au/media/documents/ADF_Stigma_background_paper.pdf
2) Wikipedia. Social Stigma. 2025 (cited 2025 Jul8). Available from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_stigma
3) Chaudoir SR, Earnshaw VA, Andel S." Discredited" Versus "Discreditable": Understanding How Shared and Unique Stigma Mechanisms Affect Psychological and Physical Health Disparities. Basic Appl Soc Psych. 2013 Jan 1;35(1):75-87. doi: 10.1080/01973533.2012.746612.PMID: 23729948; PMCID: PMC3666955.
National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioural Medicine. How to overcome shame. (cited 2025 Jul 8). Available from: https://www.nicabm.com/topic/shame
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